You huff and roll over in bed with your back to your partner. Another night of frustration at yourself, not your partner. Your body just isn’t working the way that it did when you were younger so you haven’t been able to pleasure your spouse in the way that you want.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, this very thing happens to several men once they’ve gone over the 50 years old mark. You may just need a little help to push things along, or your problem may be laying in something you are or are not doing.
To help you overcome your aging obstacle and bring passion back into your bedroom, here are a few tips on how to improve your sex life as you get older.
1. Educate Yourself on Your Condition
The first step in overcoming any hurdle is knowing thy enemy. You need to do a little digging to figure out more on what sort of conditions you may have. This will help you when it comes time to talk to your doctor because you’ll be able to explore multiple scenarios.
You can also wait until after you’ve talked with your doctor if you want one clear thing to do research on rather than a bunch of things. Either way, it can help you know yourself a little better.
2. Don’t Be Ashamed of Medication
When you talk to your doctor they may prescribe medications to you to try and get things going. Some men may be ashamed of taking these medications but there is nothing wrong with it. Men everywhere use Viagra and other assists.
When you’re doing your research you can also look into some of these medication options to talk to your doctor about if you would like. It may make you more comfortable with taking them.
3. Talk to Your Partner
Even when you’re young, one of the most important aspects of sex is to communicate with your partner. You both will experience limitations as you age and if you talk about them, you may be able to come up with a plan to overcome them together.
If aging has caused your desire to fall dramatically, you can try and think about some things that you’ve wanted to try in the past or things that you’ve seen in a movie that you liked. Talking or even writing down fantasies is a good step for getting things in the bedroom going again. It will give you some direction at the very least.
4. Diet and Exercise
Conditions like high blood pressure and high cholesterol can prevent you from getting erections like you used to. This is why even as you age, you have to keep a healthy weight by eating right and exercising. Keep in mind with this that exercise not only keeps you healthy but also increases your energy levels and your sex drive right along with it.
While keeping a good body weight won’t completely stop the possibility of you having an erectile dysfunction if something else is going on, it can put off the condition at the very least.
5. Slow Down and Give Yourself Time
When you get older, it’s going to take more time to get things going. So, don’t get frustrated that things aren’t starting as soon as you enter the bedroom. Slow down and take your time instead.
While you’ll need a lot more foreplay as you age, just keep this thought in mind: “is it really a bad thing to spend more time in your bedroom escapades?”
Just make sure that you set aside enough time for you actually take things slower. This is one activity that you’ll no longer be able to rush through so if you have something else that you have to do that evening or have somewhere else you have to be, you may want to wait.
One way that you can be sure you’ll have enough time is by planning an evening around it. You can light some candles, cook dinner together, or throw on some music. There is nothing like old fashioned romance to really set the mood.
6. Try Changing Up Your Routine
There will be certain times during the day when you will have more energy than others when you age. For the most part, you’re probably going to have the most energy early in the morning rather than at night before bed. To this end, you’ll have to change up your routine to match these new energy levels.
Sometimes you just get stuck in one routine and that ends up being the problem. You can fix this rut by trying something new like a position that you’ve never attempted before.
7. The Benefits of Experience
When you get older, the image you have of yourself is slightly skewed. Your self-esteem may drop. Instead of being self-conscious, take advantage of the experience that you’ve gained through the years.
Now that you’re older, you’ve had time to sort of figure out what you’re into and what makes you happy when it comes to sex. Think back to this experience and you’ll automatically become more confident.
Most people love a partner who is more confident so it’s a win-win for both you and your spouse.
8. Don’t Always Assume it’s Your Testosterone
When things start going south in the bedroom, a lot of men assume it’s a problem with their testosterone but sometimes this actually isn’t the case. It could be a different hormone imbalance.
When you visit the doctor, one of the first things that you should do is ask to get your testosterone checked to be sure if that’s the issue. If it’s not, then you and your doctor can start talking about different routes to take.
Again, as you age, you’re very prone to stress and depression. These mood issues will get in the way of your bedroom activities. If this is true for you, then there is no shame in talking to a counselor to explore what’s going on in that head of yours.
If it’s a problem that is specifically related to sex, you and your partner can schedule meetings with a sex therapist to get behind the more intimate issues. Your doctor should be able to give you a referral to a few clinics if you’re having trouble finding one.
Sex can get a little painful for both you and your spouse when you get older due to dryness. When the sex is painful this can lead to both of you not having the will to try it at all which will lead to tension.
You can make things a little more comfortable in this regard buy picking up a bottle of lubrication.
11. Physical Affection
You never want the affection you feel toward your spouse die down. Sex, while it does feel pleasurable yes, requires a heavy emotional connection. Cuddling, kissing, and holding hands are all very vanilla activities but they are essential to keeping the emotional connection alive.
Once you’ve started doing the little stuff again, you’ll find it will be much easier to take bigger steps such as taking a bath together or giving each other a relaxing massage. You’ll be having sex a lot less often when you get older but these little things will be enough to keep the flame alive in the meantime at least.
12. Try Different Positions
This sort of goes back into the trying new things territory but trying new positions does help. The repetition of old positions that you tried when you were younger could actually be the problem as easy as anything else.
This is because your older body can’t do what your younger body did. Positions that you could do in the past may be painful for both you and your partner now. You should research different positions and try to experiment with new ones.
You’ll be surprised at the difference an easier, less painful position will make for both of you.
13. Take Time to Relax
You shouldn’t try to jump into the bedroom as soon as you get off work (if you’re still working) or you have something else on your mind. Take the time to relax a little bit before you begin things with your partner.
Do something fun with your spouse beforehand like play a game together, talk a little, or even just do a few deep breathing exercises. When you’re less stressed, you’ll be able to completely have your mind on your spouse. Nothing else will matter.
14. Look at Sex in a Different Light
Sex doesn’t always have to be about the big finish. There are other intimate things that you can do as well that are just as enjoyable and pleasurable. Basically, when you age, your sexual ability changes along with it.
You’ll find that intimate contact such as kissing and touching can be just as enjoyable as actual intercourse. These activities may be the only thing that your body can handle in your old age and this is fine. It doesn’t make you any less of a good partner.
15. Keep Things Fun
Just because you’re aging doesn’t mean that you have to act like you are. Keep a sense of fun and childishness in the bedroom. This will make you feel younger and give you a little bit more energy.
Besides, if tension and stress really are the culprits of your lowered sex drive, tickling and goofing off with your partner may be the one thing that you both need to relax.
16. Just Do it and Don’t Overthink
It’s easy to slip into worrying about your performance when you’re older. If you bury this feeling away and stop overthinking things then you’ll find that it’s easier to take the plunge and just do it.
When we say that we don’t mean getting it over with like ripping off a bandaid. Sex isn’t a chore. It’s more like, taking a deep breath before you parachute out of an airplane.
Sure, it was scary to actually begin but when you forced yourself to take that first step, you find that now you’re actually enjoying it. You really had nothing to worry about at all.
17. Appreciate the Older You
Your body is going to go through changes which are scary. Instead of being fearful of these changes, it’s much better for you to appreciate them. Accept these changes as a natural course of life and embrace them.
When you embrace the fact that you’re getting older, you’ll be able to be more confident and once again, confidence is a seriously attractive trait. It also cuts down on the stress factors that we’ve talked so much about.
18. Don’t Give Up
The last and biggest piece of advice we have for you is to not give up if none of your efforts seem to be paying off. Instead of letting these things get to you, take some of the steps we mentioned above such as seeing a doctor.
A doctor will help you pinpoint the real cause of your issue and you’ll be able to go from there.
How to Improve Your Sex Life When You’re Over 50
When you’re over the age of 50 certain functions in your body may start to slow down a little bit. One of the first things that go is your sex drive. Usually, this happens due to medical or stress-related issues but it’s not the end of the world.
Use these tips on how to improve your sex life when you’re older to keep yourself in the game.
Sometimes when your sex drive has dropped, low testosterone is the reason why. Contact us to talk about testosterone replacement therapy.